Why Am I Still Afraid To Invite You to My Church?

I've been re-reading Michael Durall's new book The Almost Church Revitalized. It is much better than his previous Almost book. In fact, his arguments make a lot of sense to me.

On pages 33-34, Durall outlines "What Membership Should Mean":

Attending Sunday services regularly
Participating in one program each year that deepens your faith
Participating in one outreach or mission project each year
Reaching the 5 to 10% giving level as soon as possible
Telling others about the church

From my perspective, it is easy to accomplish the first four items. It interests me that there is nothing here about "volunteering" to help run the church in any way: no expectation to join a committee, become an usher or any other of the myriad of jobs to do at any church. Maybe this reflects Durall's understanding that members everywhere naturally find a niche where their greatest gift meets the congregation's greatest need.

I have a heck of a time with that last one: Telling others about the church. Lately, I've been telling folks about participating with our Standing on the Side of Love banner in the LGBTQ Pride Parade. Half the time, I've been telling people who would not attend or even watch a Pride Parade. Frankly, I don't want people who are uncomfortable with this to join my congregation! What I don't do well is any kind of "targeted marketing" (so to speak), where I seek out folks who seem to have certain values and tell them about my church. I almost did this recently, but chickened out. My thought was: what if you come but you don't like it? It would be my fault. Clearly, I need to get over this. How do you tell people about your church, society, congregation or fellowship?

What if 3% of the Members speak for All Members?

At my huuge congregation of 1,565 members, a "quorum" is 50 -- as long as fifty members sign in at a Parish Meeting, all the decisions made are valid. Fifty has been the quorum for the last 60 years at least, while the congregation has grown steadily from 175 all the way up to 1500 adult book-signed members.

Well, I decided that it is high time to have a discussion about increasing the quorum or, even better, making the number a percentage of our membership. I floated the idea of 10% -- 150 members. Someone immediately mentioned that we would never be able to make a decision if we required that many people! In reality, ever since 300 of us voted to fund our building addition, we've easily had 150 and more at our Parish Meetings. Part of this is just getting smart about scheduling a PM: serving lunch after the second service, then going right into the meeting. None of this 5 pm Sunday-potluck-and-meeting crap. Hardly anyone went to those; in fact, several members of the Board of Trustees didn't even attend.

What do other very large congregations do about this? Many of the decisions at my congregation aren't even put before the membership because we have policy governance. As a matter of fact, our mission changed last year, after needing to be improved for many years. Finally, a whole group of lay leaders collectively brought up the issue of revising our mission two years ago, but it was changed by one person: our senior minister. That's right: he re-wrote it by himself. Mission accomplished!

We members still call ministers and vote for the yearly slate of officers, council chairs and committee chairs. And we would be the ones to amend the by-laws and the Bond of Union.

Elizabeth

Spiritual Practices as a UU University Track

I thoroughly enjoyed my UU University track at General Assembly last month. I went to Multigenerational Worship because 1), I didn't know much about it and 2), because the description stated that the material would be presented as four worship services. I absolutely love worship services. We sang, we danced, we learned.

The GA evaluation form asks us to describe programs we would like to see in next year's UU University (six hours of extensive learning about one topic). I think a Spiritual practices track would be terrific because we would have time to learn various practices and try each one. Insight Meditation would be one and perhaps Snowflower Meditation. Movement meditation might be part of it, also, with an adaptation for the differently-abled. Yoga or Qi Gong would be especially good, because both can be done while sitting in a chair. Centering Prayer would be a another type, as described by Thomas Keating. Besides the above, perhaps spiritual journal writing or contour drawing would be great, too.

Good transitions would be essential before going from one practice to the next. Singing, stretching and visiting the restroom are my favorite ways to prepare myself for the next activity.

So, what are the chances that Spiritual Practices becomes a UU University Track? Wait and see....

Blessed be and Amen,
Elizabeth

Abandoned Blog Found at General Assembly

I read an article a couple of weeks ago about the millions of Blogs that have been abandoned and decided that I owe it to my reader to get back to exUUberance. Actually, I went to General Assembly in Salt Lake City and brought home many great resources that I've been exploring. My mind has been busy ruminating and will soon formulate a post for you, dear reader.

Elizabeth

Singing Is a Blessing

I went to hear Daniel J. Levitin speak awhile back. He wrote The World in Six Songs and This Is Your Brain on Music, neither of which I've read. His talk was inspiring, all about the ways humans communicate emotions through songs . At the end of his talk, we asked questions, of course. The last person to speak lamented the fact that regular people don't get much chance to sing anymore -- that music-making is now done only by professionals. I happened to be sitting in the front row, so Daniel heard me say, "We could sing something right now." And we did! He led us in "If I Had a Hammer"! It was a lot of fun. Right afterwards, people were energized and happy. One woman immediately got on her cell phone to announce: "At the end, we sang 'If I Had a Hammer'!" Several people thanked me for my inspiration.

This experience has stayed with me because I realize how very blessed we church-goers are to have the opportunity to sing every week. Regular folks singing in groups is now so rare that it is counter-cultural. But we get to experience this every weekend. I hadn't thought of our hymn-singing in quite this way before, even though we are a congregation that sings with gusto. I've been told that this is not always the case.

Sing it!
Elizabeth

Sampagne and Leg Wrappers!

I was just reading about Personal Slanguage on another blog, referring to slang and made-up terms that enjoy use by a group of friends or family members and sometimes spread wider. I'm glad to know that there is a term for this because I have a couple:

Sampagne -- this is sparkling cider or any type of non-alcoholic champagne. (Martinelli's is one brand.) My spouse Sam does not drink, but loves this stuff. Any time we're having champagne (even at our wedding), we also have Sampagne on hand.

Leg Wrapper -- this refers to something that a woman finds sexy: because it makes her want to wrap her legs around someone. I made this up as a movie review term, so I could clue my girlfriends into date movies, but a book or other media could be a leg wrapper, also.

Cheers,
Elizabeth

Joys & Sorrows for 500 (with Kids)

I've been present twice for Joys and Sorrows in our new Atrium Auditorium. Imagine a free-standing candelabra-type structure with ten cups for candles, arranged in a spiral. Two of these, a standing microphone and a minister holding a lit taper worked quite well for our ritual. No more putting candles into a small bowl of sand!

This past Sunday, I shared a joy (so I won't go up again for awhile). It felt great, but the best part was having children participate in Joys and Sorrows with their parents, lighting candles while their parents expressed milestones. Now that children are present during the first part of every worship service, they can get familiar with more of our rituals.

Of course, I heard a rumor that some people are unhappy with children being present. Some are unhappy that we are still doing Joys and Sorrows. I enjoy both and understand their importance to our congregation.

Elizabeth